How many ladies are broken in side?  How many live with a war story that plays out over and over again like a broken record or videotape on a endless loop?  How many have problems they cannot understand when it comes to certain personalities, or situations? 

Of these how many have spent good money after bad on pills and psychiatric help trying to chase blues or calm the rush of the maniacal or to try to blunt a pain that wont go away?  How many were taken in regressions that uncovered things so horrific that the memory was worse than the original problem to begin with?!  

How many ladies don’t consider themselves as ladies?  Do you look in you mirror and wonder what happened or do you look in you mirror at all anymore except to apply cosmetics which to you have become war paint before stepping out into a dark cruel world to conquer another thing or man?  Or woman? 

Would you ever consider that the whole mess that is killing you inside your spirit and soul could be fixed?   I am one who is being fixed….  Its not a pill but you might try a vitamin supplement.   Its not another psychiatric couch or chair ….  Though you might have a therapeutic project or so.   Its not another self help book….   Though there is a book involved and I didn’t write it.   It not the drone of a voice that doesn’t pinpoint anything anyway….  But He will speak if you care to listen. HE? Ohhhhhh some man…. Uh huh… click... and away from here you go….

What? Still reading? GOOD FOR YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! He is you Maker and He was there at every point and saw every instance where your honor, dignity, femininity, creativity and basic childhood or security as a woman was brutally or subtly raped or sucked dry!!!!!!; Ohhhh; religion Jesus saves and all that!!!!!!; Yeh tried that once and …………. Did you get burned????? Are you still reading ? If so may I give you little advise here?

Churches are for those who are not so sick inside that every touch of another or every misunderstood word of another sends them screaming in pain back into the night……… at least they are today.; Our culture saw to that.; Our post modern, post nihilistic society jaded and faded saw to that. But the guilt is even …. We the church went along with the “flow” of the ages and perhaps are guilty of not knowing our God well enough.Humans have the habit of thinking they know when they don’t.. No I am not then talking about church though church is the best place to have a environment somewhat suitable to growth in this relationship. I am talking about the mad possibility that God does exist and He can be appreciated and communed with right there in you whatever room on your little monitor or laptop screen if you are willing to risk surrender to someone you cannot see.

How many of you who are no w reading this are already considering that you attend a church and are “Spirit filled” and all that jazz and are looking at the above lines in disbelief?   Communed with?!!!!!!!! I pray!!!!!!!!! Ahhhhhh  now you are somewhat insulted…. Or not…. Yes but do you get answers? Does He brush against you and make your heart mind and skin “sing”? Does He speak to your ear in the whole of your mind and you hear words of a tender lover? a most marvelous sense of security from a Father?Are you ladies to busy to listen? Or are you wondering what in the …heck (( I am accommodating those whose thought gets a tad vulgar when the temperature rises, with the asterisks)) I am talking about!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I have encountered the Living God as a tempestuous and wild and wonderful and not at all tame, but oh so very safe LION. I have encountered Him as the Lamb or what I like to call Him as a silk chocolate LAMB whose affection goes down smoothly.  I have encountered the piercingly sweet ever so gentle ever so delicate feather touch of the DOVE. I have had the pleasure of having Him introduce me to His Father. On that moment in my life I knew what a proper Father is and the security of the actual realization that here in this place in Father’s embrace this little girl was finally safe!  I have been enveloped in the Holy Spirit and did not drown. I have entries to my journal and letter I sent to a sister He chose for me to talk things out with.  Oh yes……now we ladies need each other to talk to. To share war stories with, to get the pain up and finally out with.  I also have a chat room where we can talk and where you all can talk to each other.

But the first thing you have to do is realize that with Jesus Christ you have no hope of healing. I know I did the psychiatric devoid of Him and I was a Christian at the time in a Baptist church!!!!! I am grateful to them though as they became a shield to protect me from the world as I went quite mad in my “sanctified soul”. Now in Him alone with the network or supports or things that He has placed into my days I am finding the relief I have so desperately needed. Part of that relief is to now reach out to you all. He and I see the dead eyes that have dried to many tears. We see the dull complexion of the numbed empty mind and deadened heart. The sparkle has long since made like Elvis and left the building! The zest went with it and verve is wondering why it might still be hanging out solo in a woman with a broken cistern for a heart!  You are a house wife, professional, in business medical educational judicial commercial financial.  You are secretary or corporate exec. You are a minister or worse a pastor with a flock whose pain reflects and magnifies yours to the point of madness. You are a woman in need of a love you have never tasted in any mortal arms. So was I. Now I am a woman who needs to share this with you.

Because what they have told you in polite society and church may well be a lie! You are not bad unless you are not saved …  Then you have a sin issue but once solved in the blood of Jesus you are not bad…. Not anymore….You are not wrong for wanting more of Calvary than a dude on a cross all bloody and such! Your pain is His pain and your nightmare already has Him in it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So……… talk to me and tell me your story and let me introduce you the one who can fix you.

I have a story of my own to share with you and I realize that many of you are not interested in going to the other site where it is, so it will also be posted here. So for those of you who long for the Beloved I invite you to come and see what He has done for One Woman.
posted now, please click on the blue writing in the previous sentence.

Come lets have a talk….

Click on the above link and you will be able to email me direct. I am the owner of this site, I am a Daughter of Zion Eternally and I would love to hear from you.


DOZE aka Mary E

back to front page