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roseA Daughter of Zion rose

 

An Inside Job

 

Recently I had the pleasure of participating in the end steps of setting up a VBS ( Vacation Bible School) and then running snack bar in the VBS itself.  The turn out wasn’t impressive even though one of the ladies who hosted it felt this was the great over arching reason to have the VBS in the first place.   But the litany of events that sounded more like miraculous deliverances from potential catastrophe told me other wise.  Situations of antagonism in normal times between household members of the enemy’s sway (even though apparently saved) and the people involved in the VBS became nigh unto intolerable, Murphy’s Law seemed to go into overdrive (anything that can go wrong will go wrong) right up to the point of nearly burning down the church and electrically frying one of the councilors who also happens to be my daughters boyfriend (oh the personal tragedy I would never hear the end of! Thank God he escaped unharmed)  As I reflected on the twists and turns I knew of and the ones I was told of I considered whether or not the VBS was more for the neighborhood or for us or BOTH. I shared with one of the councilors and she said she felt it was more of a “reach in” than a “reach out”.  She was right.

I can only truly speak for myself from here on out.  But beyond the VBS and its ulterior goals has been this summer so far.  With the VBS I got the chance to truly let God flow in me which was nice for a change but before this I was a storm of doctors appointments and tenuous finances hanging on by the slimmest thread and the thread seemed to be breaking on strand at a time.

What was God’s reach in here?  Tribulations teach patience and patience is the prime ingredient to possessing your soul, or being in control of it instead of it being in control of you.  But more over than this I realized a few things.

First off in our situation for it really is a family situation and not just a personal one with these narding finances.  I realized no matter what I did I couldn’t control the outcome.  I was at the mercy of another.  To me it felt like the world scariest Nantucket Sleigh Ride ever. ( A Nantucket sleigh ride is what the whaling boat goes on when it spears a particularly boisterous and fighting whale. The whale gets to take the boat wherever and the occupant aboard can only pray fiercely that the whale doesn’t decide to submerge to deeply.)  But the “whale” I was attached to was God and He was mercilessly getting me to implicitly trust Him.!  But I was freaking out and sweating bullets until I caved in and gave up and realize that if He wanted to take us on a sleigh ride He would most likely be the responsible driver and not get us killed!  Either way I was not going to be in control anymore.  But I could control my reaction to it.  I also am learning what it feels like within my discernment such as it is when I am pushing against God and not the enemy. 

Second off I began to understand the need of gratitude and obedience in the smallest of things for this was how God became more generous with a person.   Though is still wish to get a better job some day I know now that this summer might not be the best time for such pursuits, but so far the summer aint over yet so anything is still possible!

Truly this has been a reach in from heaven to earth through me.  May I ever be able to be grateful for what I receive

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