DAUGHTER
OF
I have a testimony to tell you about the wonder of an awesome God.
Most folks see in me what they deem clutter, flesh, something not right. I struggled for years and great grace was accorded me until after sixteen years of walking in Him and His word he felt I was ready to be transformed. He led me to take a night job on graveyard shift, which anyone will tell you is a major stress to every part of the human system. It didn’t take long for the imperfections of the past to seep into the present in very alarming ant uncomfortable ways. Now I have seen and done the psychiatric routine to it's fullest and have no taste for anything that even mildly represents it. But Jesus wasn’t satisfied or content to leave me in my present dilemma so he sent the prophets to me. The Word of Knowledge was accorded me to uncover the truth. It seems that as I suspected the seeds that my present problem had grown from came out of a time before I was adopted. It seems I was the hope of my mother, her mother, and the family in general (father had long gone) because the grandma had a child of her older age that was violent downs syndrome. I was the normal baby, I was to be the great white hope of the family. Even after adoption to a man that was sterile I was still pressed to be the hope for the future (you can well imagine how becoming a religious radical for Christ and a minister rained on that parade!). Having had those suspicions confirmed and having had prayer for a releasing bondage that a certain church imposed on me, I was deemed ready by God to begin undergoing His particular brand of radical reconstruction. Last Sunday night it happened. Here is my testimony to what might actually be the methodology of the Holy Spirit. A fore note. I have a certain prophetic sensitivity to the voice of the Lord and to better keep track of it all I keep a journal so this is taken from my journal.
I live now in a new reality and to the old is the promise that I will NOT return. I am at Excitement Outreach Ministries preside over by Dr (Mamma) Ruth Crockett (an inner city outreach) during a ministry meeting with no one attending me I went into open vision. I saw a messenger as a flame of fire literally a flaming man standing before the Most High (in all His infinite splendor) This messenger turned to me and was larger than life-size before extending to me the point of his fiery sword. Now I have seen the swords point before and understood its implications for the Word is a twin edged sword, which separates. Its edges comprised of the Logos or scripture and the Rhema or Word of Prophecy (wisdom or knowledge) and at the point as with any sword the two edges meet and it is the point that is usually rammed in through the opponent to destroy him. In this case that opponent would be the accuser and my past. Then the messenger raised the sword high up and brought it down through me with great force it seemed to pass through me slowly yet steadily as if cutting through snarls and tangles like a comb through snarled hair. After passing downward, the sword was passed back upward through me, and I knew the word the logos had descended into my being to separate the truth from the lie with in me. Now the Rhema was rising up out of the belly as a river of living water. Again the sword was raised into the air above but became in the messenger's hand as a double bladed battle-axe. This time it came down left to right beneath me and the scripture sounded in me ...the axe laid to the root of the tree... something only done to a bad tree that will not be made good. After this a appeared above and fire like water poured over me. Again the scripture sounded in me...washing with the water of the word.... The self-same Word who is also a consuming refiner's fire and a fullers soap! Now a service is going on all around me full tilt people are being ministered to all but no one pays me any mind. After this I saw a hand appear up at the altar area and the Spirit bade me rise and go up, so I did. As I went up the folks got out of my way even to moving the ministers chair aside to accommodate me. Yes you heard right, it would appear that they or some one in charge had a notion of what was going on with me and I was left to God! The hand hovered beckoningly over the alter prayer rail and so there I came and it turned over me palm down. Again the scriptures sounded... humble your self under the hand of the Almighty God... I stood then knelt then bowed under that hand and that's when the miracle took place in Spirit. Where there had been a shattering of myself perhaps a multiple personality shattering I will never know its extent nor do I wish to, there now came a new sensation within. The word of our Lord is likened in Old Testament times to a plumb line and that plumb line had for 2 weeks been in me working all the time towards this moment on this night. With in me I felt the extremely uncomfortable sensation of having the splinters of who I am as a person dragged to the plumb line like so many nails or metal shards to a magnet and ASSEMBLED! Then I raised my wrists and saw the shackles, which fell off me. This I would later learn was the bondage that church placed on me. As the hand represents the doings of the person and the foot represents the goings of that person my gifts and development as a child of God were shackled and thence hobbled or impeded. Finally I saw and felt a delicate cord descend from the Lord and wrap itself around me. My understanding to this day is that it is the Cord of His love for me. It is meant to hold me together when circumstances threaten to make me fall apart again. Since that moment those circumstances have been aplenty believe me!!!!!!!! When I finally rose from all that the hand was still there but now it was pointing to the minister. I got on line not knowing why He would send to any man or woman after He had done so much... but I knew it was His will. As I approached the minister another hand appeared in front of where ministry was taking place. It rested at first upon the floor both hands dwarfing the people around them, and then as I came up in line the two hands began to cup around the area where the minister was proving a small gap between the finger to enter into, which as I went forward I was careful to enter in through the gap. Awed and fearful in a fear of God I knelt and this lady spoke of the bondage a church had placed upon as of witchcraft and that it was gone (the wrist shackles) and that He was filling me with Himself to such an extent that a demon that had sought to enter from a long time back and so was troubling me would never gain entry again. When she had prayed and He was through with the people end of the ministry I was unable to rise I simply having knelt keeled over to one side. I lay there in HIS hand and He asked me what did I know about His hand? Well I knew nothing in it could be plucked out of it. Later I found that scripture in Jn 10: 27-29 emphasis on verse 29.
Some of what is on my site may be hard to hear some may reflect my education some may be frivolous to you but this is a work dedicated to beginnings of Isaiah 61:2-3, which you can read for yourself.
Since the hour He made me whole I have not looked back. Though there are still things that must be dealt with from the false brethren I have encountered in the past still and all the wholeness of my mind remains in this hour despite all that has been attempted to rend that wholeness asunder. So to God and God alone can all the glory go.
In the past few weeks on my post at a four-way intersection where I cross my kids two hours twice a day; I have begun a fast paced journey to an intimate and healing track with Jesus Christ. He has showered me quite literally with a love I never expected. A love that takes my by surprise and is ever new. From singing me loves songs in a local grocery store to the tunes of nice secular sonnets to the touch and taste of romance Holy Spirit style to a deeper appreciation for the Song of Songs He is ever renewing and healing my shattered past. I am among the battered brides. I am not the victim of domestic violence; far from it I have a stable and meaningful marriage to a man who ought to be nominated for Catholic sainthood!!!!!!!!!!!! The testimony of what happened at Outreach of Excitement Ministries was the beginning and a prelude to what has become my life now. So now I desire to reach out to those who have not as yet drunk of this Living Water.
As time has passes, the flames of romance have only deepened and the sense of a overwhelming care for the Lord in way I never cared for any other person in all my life have surfaced. I marvel at this new person emerging from the ashes of the old not unlike the mythical phoenix.
Currently I have opened a MySpace site by the same name as this, and plan to take full advantage Youtube as well. More as it comes.
May you be blessed to ever know more fully the glory that is God.